Releasing My First YouTube Video + Getting Over the Fear of Judgement

‘Your will to create must be stronger than your fear of judgement’ — @deltavenus

If you haven’t seen it yet, the first YouTube video for Free Souls United is officially out! Yes that’s right - after many tech issues, countless retakes and a maybe few tears of frustration, the first of many videos to come is out and it’s been a big lesson in, well, patience but also in how we navigate one of the biggest forms of resistance we face on our authentic path: the fear of judgement.  

Talking into a camera and putting it out for the world to see is definitely not something I could have seen myself doing a few years ago. When I first started the Free Souls United Instagram page back in 2020 I didn’t even show my face in any of the posts. It was quite impersonal and it felt comfortable that way. But when I relaunched the website and starting posting again to social media last year I knew I’d have to show myself if I wanted the business to grow and evolve. 

I had observed how the businesses and accounts that I followed and felt the most connection to were all ones where I knew something of the founder/creator. I truly think there’s nothing more compelling than knowing someone’s personal story - where they're from, how they got to where they are, and what they’re still working on becoming or achieving. It’s how as humans we feel a sense of familiarity and form bonds. So I knew that by hiding myself I was limiting my own ability to connect with people and make a true impact with Free Souls United. 

Which… lead to me making my first Instagram reel. This was 45 seconds of me sharing some breathwork techniques to music, yet even that felt exposing and a little scary. But I can tell you that a few reels later I was pretty nonchalant about it. And I imagine it will be the same way with YouTube too. 

So how do we actually get over the fear of judgement and take that first step to put ourselves out there? And the second…and the third… and so on.

I could tell you here to practice breathwork and other types of somatic experiencing exercises in order to increase your feeling of internal safety and ability to show up, and that’s all true and helpful. But I want to highlight a deeper, core truth:

What you want for yourself and your life (and what you don’t want) has to be so strong that it eclipses the fear of judgement. 

Ask yourself: do I want it enough? Get very clear on what that ‘it’ is for you: is it the prospect of financial freedom, the ability to impact people and society with your art, the deep fulfilment that comes from living out your purpose? What is the desire and vision that is driving you to take action and that makes the discomfort worth it? Make it specific, make it tangible. If the desire or vision is too abstract (e.g. ‘I just want to be happy’) we can’t feel it and we need to be able to feel it in order to move past the resistance. 

I also invite you to get clear on what you don’t want; what you’re trying to move away from. While a lot of spiritual or motivational advice will tell you not to focus on the ‘negative’, knowing what we don’t want is a powerful driver in compelling us take action. Maybe you know you need to take action so you don’t spend the rest of your working life sitting at a desk… or so you don’t have to live with the knowing that you didn’t launch that unique business concept first… or so that you don’t burn out and jeopardise your health. Again, make it specific, make it tangible. 

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And if you find that you’re still feeling immobilised by the fear of judgement then you need to look more closely at the fear. 

First— who is it that you’re scared of judging you: Family? Friends? Strangers? 

For example, in my case I noticed that with launching and promoting my work, I wasn’t actually worried about the reaction of my close family and friends (who were all in fact supportive). Rather, it was the reaction of people who were tangential or not actually in my life anymore that I was focused on: former classmates, friends, coworkers, even teachers. Similar to the notion that you shouldn’t take advice from someone who is not living a life that you want, I encourage you to think about whether the people you are scared of being judged by are people who are doing what you want to do or living in a way you personally find inspiring and meaningful. If not, consider why you are placing their judgement (which is formed by their particular preferences, opinions and values) above your own.

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Second— what is it that you’re scared of being judged of? And importantly - why?

This question will reveal to you what your underlying limiting beliefs are. Because whatever judgement or criticism we are scared of receiving, is one that we are already placing on ourselves. For instance, I thought I was scared to step into the spirituality and wellness space, having studied law and worked in ‘respectable’ corporate environments, because it would be seen as unserious and too alternative. But it went deeper than this. The fear that I was projecting was actually that I would fail; that I would never create real success. Confronting this fear meant asking myself: could I still accept myself even if I were to fail? Could I still value and love myself… even if, the fear turned out to be ‘true’? 

This is what I am currently working on integrating. It’s when we accept ourselves unconditionally that we connect to our true power. We can deeply care about, be invested in and committed to our vision and desire, but it doesn’t own us. We’re free to stumble, fail, be disliked and be judged - and we’re okay with it all.

—Kat