Whether we are experiencing it as social anxiety, worry about the future, or nervousness about stepping out of our comfort zone, the peculiar truth about fear is that the more we judge it or try to get rid of it, the worse it gets.

While we all carry both feminine and masculine energy in us, masculine energy has traditionally been the more valued and encouraged of the two. We are taught to identify with logic over intuition, thoughts over feelings, and doing over being - all which if taken too far can leave us feeling numb, disconnected from ourselves and even sick.

Since diving into the world of spirituality and self-growth in my mid-twenties, I’ve seen a number of healers and spiritual/alternative wellness practitioners in the hopes of getting a deeper clarity into myself, experiencing meaningful emotional shifts and getting un-stuck and into a state of flow. Keeping in mind my attitude used to be the more esoteric sounding, the better, some of the practitioners I’ve seen include:

When I was in my mid-20s and desperately chasing external validation, I stumbled upon a blog that really shifted my perspective. The blog was all about dating and relationships and it was specifically aimed at women who wanted a healthy romantic relationship yet kept attracting emotionally unavailable and avoidant men (so, most of us at some point in time…)

This blog was talking about and warning women of concepts such as ghosting, love bombing and breadcrumbing before they had became mainstream terms.

One of the questions I find myself reflecting on a lot lately is how we can make the space between where we are right now and where we want to be a rich, inspiring and joyful one, rather than one that’s defined by anxiety, dissatisfaction and impatience.

In his book, The Code of the Extraordinary Mind, Vishen Lakhiani describes the ideal state of living as one where we have a bold vision of the future that pulls us forward but we are also happy in the now.

He describes how if we stray too far in one direction or the other it can negatively impact our sense of wellbeing: If we are purely living in the present without thinking about our future vision or goals, we may feel a lack of deeper meaning or fulfilment as we aren’t growing and evolving ourselves. But if we are too fixated on the future and our vision of it, we can become stressed and anxious as we wind up postponing our happiness to a later date.

I was speaking with a friend recently and we were discussing how the dynamics of job interviews and dates can mirror each other. In both cases the person across from us, whether a potential partner or potential employer, is subconsciously assessing our value (and we should likewise be assessing theirs!)

Although different criteria are used, the same principle applies: Are we in our personal power or not?

There was a period in my mid-20s where I was experiencing a lot of emotional turmoil and anxiety and I kept looping in the same negative, self-critical thoughts: 'I'm not where I should be', 'I wish I had done things differently', ‘I’m not good enough’ etc. These thoughts caused me a lot of unhappiness and shame, and I didn’t know how to get rid of them.

I would of course try to change my thinking and focus on the positive but it didn't seem to have much effect. The heavy, self-critical thoughts would inevitably return.

Then one day I walked past a massage shop and spontaneously decided to treat myself to a quick neck and shoulder massage. The massage was lovely, but what surprised me was that after I left the shop I noticed my usual thoughts were gone. It's like my brain was ready to start with the negative thinking loop but instead there was just stillness and calm.

When we talk about being a magnet for our desires, we are talking about attracting our desires to us. But we tend to forget that a magnet both attracts and repels.

We can’t truly be magnetic in life if we are scared of repelling the things that are not for us. Whether we’re trying to attract in the right relationship, the right community or more career opportunities and money, we need to be willing to filter out the things that are not in alignment with what we really want and deserve in order to attract what we do want and deserve.

We hear the advice that before we can let in love we have to first love ourselves, all the time. While obviously well-meaning, this advice can cause us to doubt whether we deserving of real love (and capable of drawing it into our lives) even if we don’t yet have the best relationship with ourselves. Let’s break this down.

To have something greater in our lives, we need to believe we are deserving of more. You might be able to attract something greater into your life even if you don’t feel deserving of it — whether that be a sum of money or a certain person — but chances are you will not be able to keep it because self-sabotage will kick in.

It is so important that as we pursue our dreams and vision of life, that we uncouple our self-worth from the attainment of our desires. So my question for you is: what is your ‘it’? What is the desire that you most want to see fulfilled? The one that lights you up but that has also kept you up at night?

Take that desire and put it into the following statement: ‘If I’m not enough without __________, I’ll never be enough with it’

Most of us have been conditioned to see creativity as a quality that is reserved for a selective few: those working in the arts or those with a clearly defined creative talent or skill. But creativity is something that is inherent to us all and that we can all access.

I see creativity as the ability to receive (the right inspiration, ideas or intuitive guidance) and act (to channel that into a new way of being, doing or seeing things). This doesn’t have to be anything grand, it can simply be finding a new way of structuring our time or adopting a different approach in an interaction with someone.

If you’ve seen the recent Youtube video I did on the three core principles of manifestation then you’ll know that the third principle of manifesting is to keep showing up - meaning to stay consistent in our focus and actions towards what we want.

Our highest vision of life doesn’t just materialise overnight; it takes time. It’s when we’re in that space of knowing what we want and taking action towards it yet it’s feeling like *crickets* or as though things are not happening as fast as we’d like, that it’s most easy to get discouraged, let self-doubt take over and want to quit. So it’s vital then that we have the right things in our toolbox to get us back on track and to deepen our sense of confidence and trust when those self-defeating thoughts and feelings arise.

If you haven’t seen it yet, the first YouTube video for Free Souls United is officially out! Yes that’s right - after many tech issues, countless retakes and a maybe few tears of frustration, the first of many videos to come is out and it’s been a big lesson in, well, patience but also in how we navigate one of the biggest forms of resistance we face on our authentic path: the fear of judgement.

We all know that money is a man-made concept. It is not something that exists in nature. Because of this money is usually seen as something that’s not spiritual. And yet I think there are few things that are as spiritual as healing and stepping into our power with money. Doing so means unwinding the many layers of conditioning which create the structure of our reality and disconnect us from our authenticity and pure potential. To illustrate, let’s look at how much the following types of conditioning impact the way we see and relate to money (and therefore define the container for how much prosperity we can attract in):

Do you remember the scene from Harry Potter where Harry and his friends stand in front of the magical mirror which shows them the deepest desires of their hearts? Harry sees his parents, Ron sees himself winning a Quidditch match, etc.

Romantic relationships are like that mirror. However a relationship will not only show you your deepest desires, but also your deepest insecurities, fears and vulnerabilities. It will show you the parts of you that are reactive, irrational and rooted in your wounded inner child.

Anger is a word that feels uncomfortable, heavy and that can make us wince - particularly for those of us who were on the receiving end of another person’s anger growing up.

There is a big misconception that can arise when we are on our self-growth or healing journey that I want to clear up: You don’t have to be fully healed to have what you want.

You don’t have to clear every limiting belief, unblock every past painful experience and be perfectly emotionally regulated before you can attract success, the right relationship or the life that you dream of.

Energetics sounds like a vague spiritual term but it really just describes the connection between our inner state and outer reality, which are constantly mirroring each other.

We need to understand that the things which keep showing up in our life are not random, rather they reflect the subconscious stories that we hold about ourselves, other people and life itself.

Acceptance of things (and people) as they are is an important spiritual teaching. However it was one I admittedly glossed over and dismissed for a long time.

Maybe because it sounded too simple.

Or because it subconsciously evoked in me an association with giving up or not trying.

But recently in the midst of strong emotional resistance, I had a moment of clarity about exactly why acceptance is important if we want to move forward.